A few dilemmas and frustrations

Frustration #1:  I thought to save myself some writing tonight and at the same time see how far 2,000 words stretches in story writing as opposed to free-writing by copy-pasting a short introductory chapter written several days ago.  However, when I attempted to paste it over, the formatting broke and the text was running well off the page and to the right.  So much for that.

Dilemma #1:  I intend to make this blog, and everything online that uses my real name, as professional as possible.  That mainly means keeping it unconnected to past accounts online, which definitely have more personal information and more emotionally charged material than I’m comfortable with now.  It’s that common problem these days, where those of us who have been online since high school (or even childhood) will google our names and find temper tantrums we had in public six or ten years before and can’t easily erase.  What once only parents and neighbors remembered, now the whole world can see and study, and this is affecting our professional and later personal lives more and more.  Those nasty things someone said about their father, brother, or ex-girlfriend at age 13 are still out there and available to read at age 23, and that can cost someone job opportunities.  A lot of job opportunities.  The only way to avoid that is to never use one’s real name online, but with social networking sites like Facebook being so common, that isn’t always easy to hold to.  I’ve gotten away with not using my real name up until now because I ignored and poked fun at social networking.  I didn’t need to use it, nor did I want to, and the fact is that you still don’t have to, no matter how big the icons and how much the networks are pushed on you.  Thankfully, that has led to one very good thing, and that is a complete and total absence of search results for my name.  It was a relief to see that several days ago, before opening this blog and other accounts with my name, because it means that when someone looks me up in the future, they will only find that which I do now.  I can control my appearance in the eyes of the professional world, which is very important to me.

However… and here is the dilemma… I aspire to publication.  The profession I’m trying to break into is fiction writing.  Writing, period.  One of the many ways that work is checked for plagiarism is with an internet search.  This does not apply to my NaNo story this year, since the tale is original and designed specifically for the project, but… a lot of my story ideas, structure, and excerpts are posted online under my past usernames.  I really don’t know how to address the situation, because it may not be possible to find all traces of my stories and delete them off those past accounts.  For one thing, I don’t have all the passwords anymore.  😦  I don’t want to be accused of plagarizing myself, but I also don’t want to have my professional reputation connected to… that stuff.

Frustration #2:  I have a vampire story that I refuse to give up on, but I hate vampire stories and cliches of every kind.  Let’s just say that I rewrite the first two chapters over and over again, and that’s the same story I was working on the other night that I wanted to post here.

Dilemma #2:  …I have no idea what else I want going to write tonight.  It’s 3:30am and my hands are shaking.


Word count: 600


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